We were close. Long story short, I was a horrible friend. But he is a man after God’s heart. He knows the pain I am going through. He probably has no idea how painful it is. But nonetheless he still approached me. He rebuked me. In his own words he was being simple and harsh, but it was necessary. I needed help, but wanted pity. I only got help, pity was kicked out. But that in itself was necessary. I am so selfish and immature and spoiled, I need a good rebuke here and there. My initial response to him was “who the f**k do you think you are? you have no idea what I am going through.” But I thought back. What would I say that to a guy serving Jesus by rebuking me? How can I say that to another brother of mine? whom I treated badly yet still he wants to help. Man, I tell you the truth, there are so many treasures in heaven for Kwangoo because he loved Jesus above himself. The rebuke was a double humble slap. One, I’m not good with rebukes so I surrendered and listened. It wrecked my pride a little. Two, this was a guy I thought I was better than (I know, I am super prideful) so my pride got wrecked even more.
In the end of the conversation I cannot but thank God and Kwangoo. Kwangoo, I’m sorry. I am a selfish, spoiled person. I use people and take advantage of them. But what you done for me tonight is something I will never forget. I love you man. Thank you Lord. I needed it. Definitely didn’t want it, but you know what I need more than want. But amazingly, you can fulfill both in the end. Thank you again Lord. I want to think about you more and more. Surrender to you more and more. Love you more and more.