Only two months out.

About two months ago, I presented a prayer of thanksgiving for the Bacculaurate service on my graduation day. Without the intention of being humorous, I have said, “For some of us, we (the graduating class of 2014) have the gift of moving back in with our parents…,” which I think represent somewhat of a financial haven. In retrospect, I can see the humor, but in reality I was quite sober. These past two months, I’ve gotten a taste of the “real world,” I like it to call it “post-undergrad life,” and it is shockingly frustrating.

Life is too damn expensive. That’s what I’ve been realizing over and over, again and again. I’ll admit I’ve been quite uninformed concerning the “hidden and unadvertised costs” of life. Ignorance is bliss to a certain extent. If there are pertinent knowledge of future cost and/or benefit, then ignorance is that cataclysmic Trojan Horse. Perhaps in this case it is more accurate to say that ignorance is the quiet, “female-dog” sister of bliss.

And strangely, I’ve been having cyncial optimism concerning God’s provision. It might be easier to repeat “God will provide,” but my broken humanisitic hopes could  easily warp how God should provide, therefore, it could be more accurate to say, “The God I envision will provide in the way I hope.” Of course God will provide; all provisions are from him. But I absolutely refuse to formulate the details of his provision. Who knows, I might go bankrupt, job-less, homeless, etc. Just because I trust in God does not mean I am impervious to financial crisis, societal injustice, psychological shock, etc. What I think trusting in God means is to be stubbornly confident that God loves me, however that looks like.

With only two months out into this season of my life, which I like to call it “post-undergrad life,” I am once again being taught “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so…” And that is bliss.

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